


a love in negatives

by ElasticElla



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash February, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9664979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: Jocelyn comes back, a near miracle to be sure. She had written off any rescue when she downed the potion, knowing Dot and Luke would keep Clary safe.





	

Jocelyn comes back, a near miracle to be sure. She had written off any rescue when she downed the potion, knowing Dot and Luke would keep Clary safe. Clary would have to adapt quickly, but she was strong-willed, had been fighting off Magnus's enchantments ever since they begun. 

Dot wasn't supposed to die for her. Dot wasn't supposed to _die_. She was immortal, hadn't aged a day since Jocelyn knew her, twenty years of consistence. Jocelyn knew Dot loved her, but to forfeit her own life, to follow her… It feels foolish now, but she had always thought she loved Dot more, that an immortal being could only love her so much. That surely Dot had other lovers before her, and would have more still whenever she passed. It was a twisted comfort, that no matter what, Dot would survive. 

Jocelyn briskly wipes away a few tears, forcing a smile. She's a shadowhunter again, won't be caught weeping in public. 

.

At night, she still uses the silk sheets Dot picked out. They're decadent beyond belief, smoothly mold around her body. Their magic has long worn out, but they still tingle where they touch her. They dwarf the small institute bed, and Jocelyn wraps them around her, more sleeping bag than sheet. 

Later, somewhere between asleep and awake, the sheets turn heavy. They feel impossible- improbable- a small hand wandering over her ribs, a thigh slipping between her own. The silk feels perfect between her legs, the soft touch of memory gently rocking her to sleep. (A small blessing that no dreams follow, cruel or kind, the morning rules them all painful.) 

.

Clary comes back alive, thank god, and she speaks of a living Dot. Of how Valentine had experimented on her, changing her magic, and forcing her to work for him. That Dot helped her escape without following, without a thought to her own self-preservation.

It's horrible, completely horrible, but Jocelyn has barely processed the first thought: Dot is _alive_.

She needs a plan, needs to kill Valentine- there's no way he'll let Dot go. She wasn't ready to do it before, call it a weakness for the man she once loved. She can do it now though, can go before the Clave with all her memories and ensure his destruction. 

A week tops, Dot just needs to survive another week. 

It still turns her stomach, but hope in all its cutting glory consumes her. It's not too late, Jocelyn can still save her.


End file.
